• Remember the golden rule: Listen to others as you want them to listen to you.
• Listen with the intent to understand NOT reply.
• Be aware of your voice tone and the environment.
• Know exactly what you want to say.
• Encourage feedback. Speakers usually overestimate the listener’s ability to absorb what they are saying. Stop and ask feedback questions to insure clear understanding.
• Keep in mind how many points you are making:
  • One point – listener usually needs to hear it only once, two times max
  • Two or three points – almost always needs repeating
  • Four or more points – repetition plus a handout to take away with them
• Avoid certain types of words:
  • Profanity – many listeners will tune out
  • Hot-button words – “girl” to refer to woman
  • Overly pompous words
  • Clichés and euphemisms – speaker seems trite or condescending
  • Jargon – listener might feel alienated
  • Vague words or phrases – how soon is “ASAP”
• Use your nonverbal skills as well as verbal skills.
• Maintain eye contact 80% of the time.
• Assume a posture that is non-threatening and shows you are relaxed, remember body language is 55% of your face-to-face communication.

How does it feel to be in the flow?

1. Completely involved (focused) in what we are doing.
2. Ecstasy – sense of being outside reality every day.
3. Great inner clarity – knowing what needs to be done and how we are doing (feedback is essential, keeps you focused).
4. Knowing that the activity is doable – that our skills are adequate to the task.
5. A sense of serenity, no worries about oneself, and a feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of the ego. When you are able to forget yourself and focus on what you are doing, your self esteem improves.
6. Timelessness – thoroughly focused on the present, hours seem to pass by in minutes.
7. Intrinsic motivation – whatever produces flow becomes its own reward. (Ready to start the next project immediately, that’s the reward.)

Rewards of being in the flow…

• Focused energy outside of one’s self increases happiness.
• Life will be better for anyone who achieves flow!
• Learning occurs from arousal and challenges.

If you are in the flow while doing what you love, you are in a universe of your own. So go with the flow in 2010.

Experience the freedom and peace of mind that comes with accomplishing your goals and bring your visions into focus. Contact Carole Jean Rogers at CLARITY Leadership for details.

Take your time completing this tool, step by step, then review and revise, you’ll be glad you do. Please let me know if I can coach you through it or help in any way, I’m just a phone call away! It’s more fun to work with a coach than it is to work alone. Make this year the best, get ready for 2011!!!

Step One

Look over the past year (or any other period of time) and follow these steps with the help of your coach or support team.

• Make a list of all Wins, Successes, and Breakthroughs in the past year. Look at all areas of your life.
• Make a list of all Losses, Disappointments, and Breakdowns in the past year.
• Review these lists and look for incompletions, patterns and things that may be blocking you from moving forward or that you may need to discuss with your coach.

Step Two

Looking over the past year, what are the five to seven lessons that you have learned? Choose the lessons that you want to carry over with you into life. Here are some examples:

• I learned that more is possible for me than I had imagined
• I learned that there is no such thing as a failure only a learning opportunity
• I learned to meditate and be peaceful

Stick to simple words, short phrases and paragraphs consisting of one to three short sentences. Your recipients should not have to think too much, read long sentences or big sections of text.

Step Three

Imagine ahead one year and write a list of all the Wins, Successes and Breakthroughs for the coming year. What would you like to learn or accomplish in 2011?

Write this list as though it has already happened. Make it as long as you choose and be sure to look at each area of your life. Next, prioritize the list. Then look at how each item fits with your personal values, and make plans to create these wins in 2011. With the help of your coach create an action plan for your year, and set up an accountability system to check back on these plans.

Step Four

Much like the Chinese tradition that gives names to each year, choose a name for this coming year. Use images, symbols or ideas to name the coming year. What image will allow you to step more fully into what you want to be? Find a name that stretches you past your current limitations and moves you into greater possibility. Examples of names:

• Year of Balance and Wealth
• Year of the Hope, Faith, and Health

Experience the freedom and peace of mind that comes with accomplishing your goals and bring your visions into focus. If you would like, please contact Carole Jean to discuss your goals for 2011 and your future. Please feel free to contact her at 502.459.6800.

• What specifically is getting in the way of you doing this?
• What resources do you need?
• What support do need that you are not getting?
• What are the roadblocks you expect or know about?
• Is it really possible to meet deadline?
• What are your fears and concerns?
• Are you celebrating the small successes along the way?

A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement. – Bo Bennett

• You’re not good enough
• Don’t make waves
• Who do you think you are?
• You should be more
• You should do more
• You have to suffer more if you want to be successful

How can you banish these gremlins? The challenging news is that part of being human is having fears and insecurities. The good news is that you don’t have to listen nor answer your gremlins. All you have to do is recognize them, notice their messages and choose to ignore them. Nothing makes a gremlin shrivel faster than your amused recognition of its tricks. And the choice to detach and move on!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt